:/

Being the one who once rejected sincere love from a boy,

made me realized that this feeling,

this particular feeling that I felt towards every man that I fell in love whom is not mine,

might be kind of a retaliation maybe (wow big words) for me.

padan muka? Hahahahaah fuck.

The thing is, I've been in love. Every person that I once love, have a spot in my heart. It's like they never fully leave even when they already had moved on from me. Because it's not them, it's me.

They are happy now, with the one they truly love. While me, I am still trying to fix myself. I am still trying to mend this heart of mine. I will never can forget every single one of you that once hurt me. I will never forget the feeling of brokenness, loneliness. It's like I can hear my heart get shattered every time I saw your photos with her. It's like I never existed. Was I ever part of your life?

I want to be free, free from this feeling of...I don't know. I can't even explain what I am feeling. It could be emptiness. I wanna be free from emptiness. I don't wanna feel empty, as if there's a hole in my heart and it keeps getting bigger. Help me.